REMEMBER those halcyon dustbin days, do you? If you are of a reasonably mature vintage you can probably just about recall a time when a couple of cheerful chaps would come up your drive to collect your bin. “Anything else need taking away, Mrs. B?” one of them invariably inquired of my mother as she watched them carrying out their job from the kitchen window.

Those were the days when people helped each other. When workers whistled jauntily and when there was still a rapport between them and the public.

But then along came progress. Ah, yes, you’ve probably come across it yourself. First the time and motion men. Then the health and safety bods followed at 10 paces by the surveillance squads.

Odd, isn’t it. No doubt a lot of changes have brought greater efficiency. But in those unenlightened times, when men emptied your bin for you and they had blokes looking after lengths of road to ensure potholes were filled and drains kept clear, the job got done and, some would argue, got done a whole lot better.

The private company which collects the rubbish for 25 local authorities recently took delivery of 1,500 hi-tech Blackberries — nothing to do with the fruit, these are advanced mobile phones that allow you to not only snap dustbin offenders in the act, but to e-mail their details back to HQ pronto to enable fines to be issued.

They say the technology will be used only to identify health and safety problems and enable binmen to download maps to help them do their rounds more efficiently. When did binmen need GPS to find the houses on their regular route?

It’s to be hoped our new coalition government gets on with the job of stripping away the nasty surveillance state that Britain has become before this technology can be put to the inevitable business of snitching up some more unfortunates likes the nonagenarian who got her collar felt for putting a butter tub in the wrong recycling bag.

We have turned into a vindictive little country full of bureaucrats and officials who take delight in punishing us for the merest hint of a mistake.

And nowhere is this more applicable that when it comes to enviro-crime which has produced an unlikely alliance of the green fanatic and the local authority jobsworth. A heady mix of negative talents if ever there was one.

One thing’s certain. You will never see a bloke from the council up your drive again on dustbin collection day — unless it’s to fix a spy camera in the wheelie bin or deliver a fixed penalty notice for some bizarrely innocuous offence against the great recycling gods.

OUR MAGNIFICENT CUMBRIANS

SEVEN months ago they were rescuing stranded householders from the floods. This week Cumbria’s emergency services, and an army of volunteers and local community helpers, sprang into action again sorting out the appalling aftermath of a crash between a school bus and a car on the A66 near Keswick.

We would have gladly not experienced both these traumatic events. But come the hour, cometh the men and women of Cumbria who once again demonstrated that, in a crisis, nobody does it better.

It’s difficult to summon up enough praise for those who rose to the terrible demands placed on them by this week’s collision which left three people dead, two of them students from Keswick School, and many more suffering serious injuries.

Even in what the school’s head, Mike Chapman, termed “the midst of horror” we should feel jolly proud of these emergency services and the other helpers. We should also feel proud of the kids of Keswick School for their courage and maturity in facing something youngsters of their age ought never to have to witness and deal with.

But one man has stood out this week for his calm leadership and that is Mr. Chapman himself. Keswick is a strong school that will survive the trauma because it understands the feelings and aspirations of young people. Its head faced a barrage of cameras and microphones as practically every television and radio station and national newspaper descended on Keswick to tell and write the story.

He did it with remarkable equanimity, invariably finding the right words and capturing the mood of the school which he conveyed with patience and frankness.

It’s been a sad week for the local community. When the TV cameras have gone it will take a long time to heal the wounds of children who were mentally as well as physically scarred by this shocking event.

But in a dark hour Cumbrians can take some succour from the knowledge that our emergency services and communities have once again come up trumps. And as Keswick School begins the recovery process, it does so with an impressive and caring man at the helm to guide it.

NOT BAD, SO FAR

CAUTIOUSLY hopeful. That’s my initial reaction to our first coalition government for 70 years.

So far so good and it has been a breath of fresh air to shed the relentless spinning of this government’s predecessor.

Fact is, coalition was the only choice after the election left us with a hung parliament and a reflection of the public’s general dissatisfaction with politics and politicians.

Getting Britain back on its feet after the financial irresponsibility of Labour is going to take some doing. The economy is sure to dictate events in the coming months and years, but we will also be looking for government to be made more efficient and for the stripping away of the excessive spending and waste that has gone on in the public sector.

Nick Clegg was criticised by many within his own party ranks for joining forces with the Conservatives, but surely it’s far better for the Lib Dems to have a role in policy forming than to be sitting on the sidelines criticising whoever is in power.

I think the new government deserves time and a little of our indulgence because, however it comes up with savings, it’s going to be unpopular with some.

Labour’s last Treasury chief secretary, Liam O’Brien, left a cheeky note for his successor saying all the money was gone, good luck. He has since tried to brush it off as a joke. However, not many people have been laughing. It was a last act which rather symbolised why the British public voted that they were fed up with Labour and a change, any change, would be better.

BORAT SPOTTED — IN KESWICK

GROWN men recoiled in shock and respectable women covered their eyes.

Seen competing in the weekend’s triathlon at the Keswick Mountain Festival was a chap wearing a mankini — the revealing one-piece outfit modelled by Borat in the hilarious film of that name.

At least he had the athletic body for it, according to one woman who reported that she and a friend were so taken aback they could not resist having a good long look. They were rather concerned about the chafing effect on the poor man’s derriere.

It isn’t clear whether this gentleman was a representative of the great people’s Republic of Kazakhstan or simply stretching a point as a fan of Sacha Baron Cohen, the actor who played Borat.

Either way, his athletic prowess was most definitely on display.